How often do you get cat-called, regardless of your sexuality? This may seem an absurd question but think about it. If your preferences are not the same as ‘normal’ human beings or if you don’t fit the stereotype of your sexuality, how much more complex does the situation get? Queer women don’t just have to fight for being female but also for their sexual identity.

How often are you asked sexual questions when you’re walking to the bus or grocery shopping? Not a lot, I bet. Queer women go through this struggle almost every single day when they put their sexual preferences out in public. We’re still working pretty hard for gay men to feel a little safer but it looks like it’s going to take a lot more for the Queer community to get there. 


Queer women are routinely portrayed in extremely sexual ways and Lesbian porn remains one of the most highly watched categories today. According to recent research, Queer pornography is rarely used by Queer individuals and majorly by straight men as its more ‘appropriate and effective’ for them. This has only reinforced wider stereotypes leading society to hold ignorant thoughts. Queer women are seen as erotic objects of sexual gratification, particularly by men, which only cements the idea of ‘Queer’ being a phase or an experiment. It adds to the mental stress for Queer women making them feel invisible and irrelevant. 


The portrayal of Queer woman as sexual objects has given a new dimension to the overall problem. At times they are also straight up asked if they would like to have a threesome. Like how difficult is it for men to understand that these women have genuine feelings for each other and are not toys for pleasure. It has furthermore given rise to sexual assault which worsens the entire situation. 


The notion that queer women have to look a certain way is quite unsettling to me. They are often questioned because they don’t look gay enough or because they look too gay. “Who is the man in the relationship” Dude, we’re both women. Imagine being threatened because you choose to love a woman, then society tells you that you need look a certain way. It’s like asking a man to not go out with a woman just because he has long hair, piercings and a floral dressing style (sounds like Harry Styles to me. If I want short hair because it’s a power move that does not make me a queer woman, and similarly if a queer woman wants to have long beautiful hair, that doesn’t make her any less of what she is, duh. 


But the stereotyping doesn’t end there, queer pornography emphasizes on having scripts that portray one as man and the other as woman. The fact that they can add characteristics of a man into a situation clearly defined two women, is quite surprising. I thought women were supposedly nosy and wanted to be part of every event that’s happening but it looks like we have some competition ladies.


One of the major solutions that can eradicate this problem is Queer women in the media industry. This would focus on putting forward correct and enlightening information to get rid of preconceived-factually-incorrect-stereotypes. It would validate the experiences of these women, making their relationships authentic and pure with their partners rather than portraying them as lesbians readily available to men. 


Here at Vibio, we believe in sexual freedom for all, irrespective of the group you belong to. Women having the right to enjoy their sexual desires as equally as men, instead of being objectified.


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